Dear Diary...

Make sure when you give your heart away, it's to someone who's hands are strong enough to hold it forever, yet gentle enough to hold it without breaking it.

“Love is one product you don’t sell by giving away free samples.
~Rock Hudson~

Prayer

Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive.

I asked God for water, He gave me an ocean.
I asked God for a flower, He gave me a garden.
I asked God for a friend, He gave me all of YOU...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

"A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses or wears makeup. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider car...efully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance”

A woman is either peaceful and gentle, which are fruits of a heart that is humble and trusts God, or she is turbulent with the pushy arrogance and impatience of a woman who is self-centered.

"Where have skirts gone?" pt 2

I've received a lot of negative comments on my post about wearing skirts. (I posted it also on a different website.) Many people took everything I said out of context and focused mainly on the fact that I'm saying girls wearing pants are unbiblical--which I did not say in any way, shape or form in my post. Another thing a few people are unhappy with is the fact that I am "judging girl's hearts"---which I most certainly am not doing. Here's my answer to their unhappy comments. Hopefully my blogger readers read it for what it was meant to be. :)


My intentions here are not to create a big debate over what is right or wrong, and that was not what I meant to happen by writing my post. The Lord has been showing me some things and working on refining my own heart and life. With that said, I wanted to share it in case their was someone else who the Lord may speak to thru it. I am by no means judging someone for what they wear and I would hope that people know me better than that and would read my post and see my heart behind it. It was in no way intended to offend. I was merely pointing out some things that I have noticed. If we are very honest I think most of us would recognize the fact that girls tend to act much more inappropriate with the opposite sex when wearing pants. I don’t know why it is, it much be psychological but when I see girls wearing dresses or skirts they really tend to act much more lady like. My post was a challenge to whoever wants to try wearing dresses or skirts for a time and to take note of how they act. I know it makes a difference with me. I also said that I am not burning all of my jeans! (I love my jeans!!) I am just choosing not to wear them for everyday. I completely agree that the Lord judges the heart of a person and not the outside! Aren’t we grateful for that! I know I am!

Everyone is making this into a “pants vs. skirts” issue and “judging the heart” issue. Neither are true. Not once in that post did I say “You have to wear a skirt to be a feminine woman.” Nor was I judging anyone. My whole point was, skirts are more feminine! Yes, you can wear jeans and feel feminine--I know I do. Also, how one dresses has nothing to do with being more “spiritual” than the next--another thing I never said.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am very strong with strong opinions and a very strong personality. Can I carry my own luggage? YES!! I can also open my own car door, find my own chair, mow my own lawn and, well, pretty much anything a guy can….I can do better! (JK!) With all that said, do we girls enjoy men being polite? Don’t we all feel special when a boy opens a door for us? Or offers to carry a bag for us? I don’t think just because we are “equal” to men, means we have to “prove it” by going out of our way to do things ourselves.

I never said in my post anything about women being less than a man nor being incapable of doing this type of work. I myself am a very strong girl and personally do enjoy doing rougher work, this is probably the reason my nickname at home is ‘Girl Son.’ But this has nothing to do with whether you can carry your own luggage or not. This post had to do with the heart, and us just remembering our roles. Sometimes what we put on physically changes our whole attitude. Just like a child who puts on dress up clothes and how their attitude changes, so does ours.

I know it was a long post, but I can’t help but wonder if people actually read the whole post or just got hung up on the part of wearing skirts and assumed I was saying pants are unbiblical--which is completely untrue. Did anyone continue reading what I said on guy-girl relationships? Out of this whole post, only a few paragraphs had anything to do with serious reasons for wearing skirts. A lot of it was on boy-girl relationships and the last part was just random goofy reasons to wear a skirt.

I have a real heart for young girls, and I want to see them stand for purity and be God honoring in how they dress and how they act with the opposite sex. So…once again, I challenge the young girls to even for a short period to try wearing skirts. See if you notice a difference in how you act around the opposite sex, and even how you act in general.

Where have all the skirts gone?

Deuteronomy 22:5

A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the LORD your God.



What happened to girls? Real, true, genuine and feminine girls? Where have all the skirts and dresses gone?!?!



Before I launch myself into this post, let me first give you a back up story of how this post became...



A few years ago I felt convicted to give up wearing jeans and pants and only wear skirts or dresses. I did so for about two years--during that time wearing jeans very rarely. And the few times I did wear them, it was usually under a dress or skirt. Sometime last year, I converted back to wearing pants on a nearly daily basis. I'm not sure when the change happened, why it happened or what caused it to happen. In fact, I didn't really notice the change until the other night.



A few nights ago, Jeff and I were talking about our future family. We were discussing how we plan on raising them, certain rules we will have for them and much much more! During this conversation we were talking specifically about our little girls. Our desire for our children is to act their gender. We want feminine girly girls and manly tough little boys. As we were on this topic we were questioning how to have those "girly girls" and "manly boys." We looked around at the world and realized that there are so many feminine boys and tough girls. What happened? Where did the girly girls go and the many boys go?!?



As we pondered this question, we questioned what we as parents can do to prevent tough/manly girls and feminine boys. As the conversation progressed, a few questions randomly came up that got us thinking...



Ask yourself these questions, and answer honestly.



When you picture a boy/man...what is he wearing?

...never do you picture a man wearing a skirt or dress...

When you picture a girl/woman...what is she wearing?

...usually you picture a girl in a dress or a skirt...

What do skirts say about someone? Masculine or Feminine?

...if you answer masculine...you are lying :)...

What do pants say about someone? Masculine or Feminine?

...answer this one as you feel truthful, but we just established that skirts are feminine and not masculine. Am I the only one who feels saddened by the fact that both men and women wear the same clothing article? Shall we go back to Deuteronomy 22:5??



With all of these questions, you can't answer with the same thing. When you think of a man, is he wearing a skirt? No...it has to be one or the other. If both are the same there is no distinction between a man’s and a woman’s garment.



After we had answered these questions and questioned the femininity/masculinity of the youth in this generation, we decided to take drastic steps to insure we have girly girls and manly boys. One of the main things we decided was A) our girls will never wear pants or jeans. and B) our boys will never wear skinny jeans or any other feminine-ish styles that boys wear these days.



Part of the problem with our youth today is our gender roles have been mingled. Girls have quit wearing dresses and skirts, and now wear jeans JUST LIKE THE BOYS WEAR!! Sure, their jeans/pants are a bit more feminine than the styles boys wear. But that only lasted for a time. The next problem, is now the boys are wearing certain style jeans JUST LIKE THE GIRLS WEAR!!



As we were concluding our conversation, Jeff made the comment "Whatever happened to you wearing skirts all the time? You used to dress so cute and act so femininely." ('Used' to?!! ouch!!) If that comment sounds harsh, trust me, it wasn't meant that way. (Boy's have such a "special" way of wording things to make us girls feel special...huh? lol) After he said that, It kinda shocked me as it dawned on me...he's right! Whatever happened to me wearing skirts? Sure, I still wear a dress or a skirt on Sundays, but for everyday practical use....when was the last time I wore a skirt?



From there, our conversation turned towards me. How can I expect my daughters to only wear dresses or skirts, when I'm still wearing jeans? I decided once again to go back to wearing skirts and dressing like a true lady.



Since deciding this I've noted a few more things (other than being feminine and set apart from males) that makes wearing skirts or dresses desirable.



How many of you have ever noticed that when you wear a skirt or a dress you feel more feminine? You care a bit more about your overall appearance (and not in a vain way...but a gentle and feminine way.) You feel a bit more gentle and sweet. And maybe a little bit more nurturing.



On days you wear a skirt or a dress, you might notice you bake something or be in the mood to make dinner or even garden!! (which you've never enjoyed before!!) At the end of your day you realize that you actually made your bed, did your chores and even had time to sew that button back on that shirt (which you've been meaning to do for the last 6 months!)

When a girl puts on a skirt it does something to her! It quietly transforms her into a feminine lady! It's kind of like a little boy...when your little brother puts on his Indian costume it transforms him!! He truly believes he's the biggest baddest Indian in town! The same thing goes for us girls.



Another thing about wearing skirts and dresses...if the skirt or dress you are wearing is modest, it is going to cause you to act in an above reproachable manner. You will carry yourself in a more Godly, feminine and ladylike manner. You won't forget how to act around the opposite sex--thus cutting down flirting and shameful behavior in the church. Leading to the prevention of so many problems in the youth today.



And for those of you who are thrifty and love to save money...here's a good reason to wear skirts...Jeans these days cost what? Fifteen dollars? Thirty dollars? And often even more than that!!!



I don't know if any of you are opposed to thrift stores or second hand stores...but I personally LOVE them!! Sure, you have to look through everything. But hidden underneath a lot of not so nice stuff, you can always find some brand spankin new stuff for great prices!!

For my Modesto readers, we have some really nice 2nd hand stores! I just went to a few stores last week and for a total of $35 I bought 12 (maybe 13?!?) nearly BRAND NEW and super cute skirts!! Go shopping!! See what you can find!!



My 2nd to last reason is: ( :-D)



Being a wife, I also notice a difference in submission when wearing jeans vs a skirt. (Most of my readers won't "get" this point until they're married!) When I wear pants, I want to lead! I am more bossy and controlling--even a bit naggyish. :-/ So in theory, when I wear jeans, I am literally trying to "wear the pants of the family."



When I put on a skirt, I am much more quiet and submissive and obedient! I'm not as bossy, loud or annoying! When I wear a skirt, believe it or not, my house is much cleaner and there is usually always some type of baked goodie in my cookie jar. (Maybe that's why men prefer skirts over jeans!! ;-)...I get to this point later in this post.)



Besides all of this...the Lord has created us to look feminine!!! Nobody could ever see the back of two people--one wearing a skirt and the other in jeans and assume the skirt wearee (wearer...?? lol) is a male! Skirts and dresses are a dead giveaway characteristic of a girl!!



Think about it...no one ever dreams of their "Wedding Pants!!"

And we get 'dressed up' for special occasions not 'pantsed up!!'



My last point though is skirts are modest. (I'm not talking mini skirts here...)



Top two reasons girls don't wear skirts anymore:



1.) Skirts aren’t comfortable



Now this must be taken with their veiw-point in mind. I would completely agree, a mini skirt, is NOT comfortable. But thank heavens there are more options than that sad excuse for a covering.



2.) They aren’t in-style



Who says they aren’t “in”, just because you can’t find them at your typical American Eagle doesn’t mean they aren’t "in" style. The very nature of the skirt makes it always in style.



Though these are the "top" two reasons, I think a few more good reasons would be:



A) roles have been mixed. Do girls in this generation really know why we are designed to wear skirts and dresses?



B) wearing a skirt or dress requires a girl to be feminine!! Most girls are too lazy to be feminine anymore. It is so much easier for us girls to wear a pair of jeans, be comfy and not worry about being feminine! So many young girls these days act like the boys! They hang out with all the boys, joke with them all and shamelessly flirt with them all--then, in the next breath say "They're just like my brother!!" Question: do you flirt with your real brothers? Eeew...yuck. So why don't we all treat our brothers in Christ like we do our birth brothers?!? Not like potential boyfriends? Sorry...i'm off subject...this topic is a whole new post :)



and finally...



C) girls don't like to wear modest skirts purely for the reason that they're not flirtatious or showy enough. And won't get them the attention they want from the opposite sex.



Girls--ask yourself this question: what does your dream boy look like? (And if you have a bf or a crush, don't describe him. Describe who you pictured before your real live guy came along.) Is he handsome, manly and rugged? Or does he wear skinny jeans and pink t-shirts? Most normal girls ;-) (kidding!) would picture a Mr Prince Charming--complete with a long sword at his side. I know few girls who dream of Mr Feminine with his ultra tight skinny jeans and "Real Men wear pink" t-shirt. (By the way, If a man has to prove himself "a real man" by wearing pink...he's no real man and he needs to evaluate himself.)



Now if us girls dream of a Mr Rugged--a real true man. Why are we to assume that men don't picture their future wife being girly and feminine!! Most boys/men, when thinking of their "dream girl," generally desire a feminine girl. Not one who wears jeans (be it skinny or regular) but a girl who wears skirts and dresses!! (Interesting fact...Studies, polls and statistics have shown that boys and men prefer females to wear dresses or skirts, as it makes them look more "feminine, ladylike and prettier."



And when I say "skirts" I am not talking about those little itty bitty tiny things girls like to call "skirts" yet they barely fit my barbie dolls. I'm talking about knee length (or longer) skirts and dresses. And girls, if you think wearing a mini skirt or those tight, painted on skinny jeans attracts boys...well you are totally right...unfortunately, it definitely won't be the Godly man you want or deserve.



Modesty is the ancient secret of allure. An oxymoron? I think not. When women choose to dress with modesty and dignity, it just might flip everything around…we were created in such a way that when we humans act without restraint and without any rules, we don’t have as much fun! Modesty and dignity help women protect their romantic hopes, challenge men to be courteous and honorable, and will turn the whole sexual revolution on its head. That is something to look forward to.



When a young woman chooses to dress in a way that thoughtlessly exposes her body or, worse, seeks to use her body to allure men sexually, she is reducing herself to mere “eye candy”. All that is truly good and beautiful and unique about a young woman is lost and she is only seen as an object for sex. Womanhood today is so crude, largely because of the attack on female modesty. Many mainstream fashion trends are very unflattering. Low rise jeans, for instance, can create “muffin tops” and when seated, reveal way too much of your derriere to the unfortunate individual behind you. This does not enhance a woman’s beauty or attractiveness. In contrast, a woman who is dressed with dignity and grace--in feminine apparel that flatters her figure in a natural and modest way draws attention to her face, her personality, and her charm.



I am a very strong anti-feminist and I challenge and encourage all of my readers to join me in revolutionizing the feminine name! Let's bring back real girls...true genuine feminine girls.

With all of this said, I hope none of you are thinking that I am asking you to give up style or dress in plain sackclothes!! NO!! Being modest does not have to be a bummer or a drudgery.

Let's look at Proverbs 31:22~She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.



Back in the day, purple was the trendy color. This verse mentions that this virtuous woman not only wore nice clothing, but it was in style! We too can be modest yet trendy and cute!!

Modesty truly is the best policy.



Here are several reasons that I compiled from a few Godly women's blogs, which I found online:



They are feminine.

What better way is there to say, “I like being a lady”?



They are unique to females.

There are only two types of men in our society who wear robes – judges and priests. Women can wear them every day; why not take advantage of it?



They are pretty.

Most feminine things are.



Skirt's have a superior ability to moderate temperatures - cool and swishy in summer, warm and layered in winter.



You can wear a skirt over pants, but you can't wear pants over a skirt!



Using the bathroom in a skirt is as easy as bunching it up. Using the bathroom in pants? Have fun with that zipper.



Pants reveal the lumps, bumps, and bulges that skirts skim over gracefully.



No one will see your fun patterned stockings under pants unless they are staring at your feet.



Shy or unhappy toddlers find no comfort in the empty, fabric-free space between your knees when you wear pants.



In a skirt of any reasonable fullness you can hitch the hem up above your knee in a genteel way in order to step up on a bench, wall, rock, stump, etc. to get a better view or to escape something noxious. Tight jeans keep you grounded lest the back split.



A skirt drapes gracefully over your lap when you sit. Pants hems ride up so that the tops of your knee-high stockings show.



You can't shake out your jeans as a sign of commitment and determination before striding into action.



They have variety.Wearing jeans every day is so boring. Skirts and dresses come in every shape and color.



They are comfortable.They have such a lovely, free, open feeling! Plus, many of them are much softer than pants. [Miniskirts and those with the slits up to the thighs aren't so comfy.]



They are easy to shop for.Pants have to fit in 100 places whereas skirts really only have to fit in the waist. Plus, they’re generally cheaper if you shop in the right places.



They are flattering.People don’t have to see those 100 places. A dress will just flow right over them.



They are old-fashioned.Hey, vintage is in, right?



They are classy.I always feel so much nicer and more ladylike when I’m in a skirt. I’m also generally more productive when I take the time to dress nicely in the morning. Staying in my jogging clothes or sweatpants makes me feel lazy.



They are fun to spin in.It’s true!



They are romantic.Okay, I have a way to kill the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet. Put Juliet in breeches.



They add mystique.An curious mystery hangs about a girl who doesn’t bare all.



They catch the eye.A miniskirt or painted-on-jeans might catch the eye in one way, but a lady dressed with dignity catches it in quite another.



You can wear awesome leggings with them.Okay, maybe that’s just a personal quirk, but it is a fun trend to wear (especially now in the fall and winter)!



Studies have shown that wearing skirts is 90% effective in preventing VPL (visible panty line).



Ruffles on a skirt can be over-the-top glamorous. Ruffles on pants are only acceptable if your name is Mary, and a little lamb follows you everywhere you go.



When you strap a gun to your thigh in pants, you lose the element of surprise.



Twirling in a pair of pants results in 87% less happiness.



Skirt blowing up, revealing underthings? Sexy. Pants falling down, revealing underthings? Humiliating.(this is shyloh writing again...though this one is downright innapropriate...it made me laugh so I decided to include it, but please don't wear skirts based on this reason!!)



They are elegantThey have this cool flowy thing going on.





The last thing I want to add to this post is: Just because I am encouraging femininity, dresses and skirts does not mean I am saying: "no more converse, dump your vans and absolutely never wear jeans!" Far from it, as I am writing this, I am wearing a jean skirt with knee high CRAZY socks and my pink converse!! Though I will be wearing skirts for the majority of time, I will never give up my much loved converse or vans for a pair of stiff high heels!! If high heels is your thing...great!! But it's not mine :) I love my converse!! I can still be feminine and wear my skirts at the same time being comfy and casual.



As far as wearing pants goes...there will always be those times when jeans are much more practical. But for me, those times will be far a few between.



So who is with me? Join me in setting an example and defining the roles that have been mingled.





...Modesty....it starts in the heart...