What is love?

Tomorrow is our 1 year anniversary. It's crazy to think that already it's been one year. Already!!!

Time flies sooooo fast!

And so much changes in such a short time!!

Jeff and I have been talking over the past few days about what we've learned during our 1st year of marriage. We shared what we've struggled with and what we've grown in and how we've helped/affected each other during this first year.

I had always imagined that marriage would be so easy. But marriage isn't always easy. There are so many times that we have to die to ourselves and put the other person first...and that is never easy!

We laugh when we talk about the stupid things we argue.

It's pathetic to admit...but our biggest argument (and a common one at that!) always takes place when we're driving...and its always about Jeff's driving. So for Jeff, one thing he's learned this year is: Drive carefully! (Lol) He's learned more important things too, of course ;-)

We've both been learning--and still have so much more learning to do! That communication is so important! All of our other petty little arguments, we realize afterwards would have been prevented had we both had communicated properly. Simple little communication deficiencies cause the dumbest arguments always!! And once you start talking the argument through, we both come to realize 'Oh. That was both of our faults...we need to communicate better.' And then we feel pretty silly.

Though we have a lot of silly little petty quarrels (not even deemed worthy enough to be "arguments" we are satisfied with the fact that we always immediately talk it over and patch things up. Though our communication skills aren't perfect, we are very good at always talking things through as soon as it happens and apologizing.

We never let the sun go down on our anger, and like my parents in the early year of their marriage, we've made two promises: a) we'll never leave in the middle of an argument and b) we'll never sleep on the couch if we're mad. Both of these have never been a issue for us, as our little spats aren't bad enough that either of us ever even thought of these possibilities!!!

We've both grown a lot this year.

A few things that I have learned this year is:

a) Jeff needs and wants a sweet loving wife. I still struggle with my deviousness and obnoxiousness, but I can also muster out some stickly-sweetness when it's needed.

and the most important thing I've learned is:

Nobody is perfect. For some reason, after we got married, I had this image in my mind that Jeff was going to be perfect in every way. I was shocked when I discovered that *gasp!!* he's not! This has been a constant struggle, with everything. I wish I put the same pressure on myself as I have silently put on Jeff. After I realized that I had put this pressure on the poor guy, I started working on kicking that mentality out. Jeff isn't perfect--he's almost perfect :) but not completely perfect. I'd be impossible to marry the perfect man! It'd be impossible to be the perfect person!

The quote I wrote above, is what has helped me the most. It reminds me that true love doesn't expect someone to be perfect. It forgets about the flaws in a person. I love that quote so much! And at times, when Jeff is less than perfect (as in the time he laughed at me for not hanging the fruit basket up right!) the Lord brings to my mind that quote and I'm able to add that flaw to the jar and forget about it, and really, my jar of "Jeff flaws" isn't actually all that big. In fact, it's rather small. I'm sure Jeff's jar for my flaws is probably a pretty big jar! I'm blessed that he doesn't remind me of my flaws and bring to my attention my weaknesses.

I'm getting better at this fault of mine. I'm having to work on it less and less in my life. But I look forward to the day, where the word "perfect husband" isn't even in my thought vocabulary. It's become faded and distorted, so I know someday soon, that spot in the dictionary will be covered up with the word: "True Love = the ability to take every fault you see in the person you love. Put it in a jar in the back of the cabinet and forget that it's there."

We've come pretty far in our journey together, yet I'm sure no marriage journey (For Jeff nor I) will ever end. Marriage is all about constantly striving for better. Striving to be a better spouse and never settling in where your relationship to your spouse is at. Always working towards a stronger relationship. Towards a better friendship. To a deeper love. Both, always striving towards the best both of us could possibly be.


♥ This has been a wonderful year, Jeffy! Thanks for making me such a happy wife! I Love you!! ♥